White Scrubs and Long Days

I am falling asleep as I type these words.  Instead of blogging and thinking about sleeping, I should be working on my clinical journal.  

I have had a lot on my plate the past few days, and it is over these past few days I have realized that this journey will be the hardest one I have yet to accomplish.  Nursing school in itself is do-able, however, it is the attitude the student possesses that makes the goal of graduating and passing the NCLEX attainable.  I have met many new people, people who, over the next two years, will become my study buddies, my shoulder to cry on, my family.  I have met many chapters this week, twelve actually.  I have met long-hour days in which even 7-8 hour sleep nights just aren't cutting my need for rest-ation (sorry, I know that isn't a word, but I have had a long week).  I have eaten too much peanut butter and granola in hopes of putting to rest my aggressive and engulfing worries and fears. I decreased my exercise time to put forth an effort for my future.

My life is a bit overwhelming and all my mind wants to think about right now is sleep and chocolate ice cream. 

But I have been blessed with an opportunity in which I must transcend all my stressed and frustrations and worries and tears, for God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7).  Boldness is not the first response to such a situation, but it is the proper Spirit-guided response.  I have the will to achieve and I have the God to take me there.  

I can't do this but I am doing it anyway.

Vital signs. Taking manual blood pressure is an art.  My negative and not-confident attitude towards this skill elongated my learning process.  However, I have learned that I must listen carefully and remain confident in my abilities to provide "client-centered care." Sorry - I just finished writing a clinical reflection journal; it took me at least seven hours (not all at once) to write this.  It ended up being about seven pages long, thanks to my need for description.  However, that won't be the norm, considering I must write two reflections a week (on top of a nursing philosophy paper due in a few weeks).  But hey, I am not complaining.  It is a lot of work and overwhelming at times (most times), but I love it.

Communication.  I have worked at Chick-fil-a for over a year, however, for some reason, this whole nursing communication thing is scary.  It is not so much the talking that scares me, but everything behind it; it is the application of knowledge, and performing my duties correctly that give me mini-anxiety attacks.  I know with time my confidence will build; but for now, I get nervous about anything new, which lately, everything has been new.

Remembering everything for a {written} test is what I have trained for my whole life.  However, nursing school tests are more than just bubbling in a scan-tron; the true tests comes during clinicals when check-offs are no longer a worry and applying knowledge becomes the real evaluation.

Whoa. Like, I am in UNC Pembroke's Nursing Program.  Where has the time gone? Since when did I grow up? I feel too young. I can't be in Nursing School. No this is just a dream. How did time pass me by so fast? Is the Nursing field something I am passionate enough about to endure the next two years of school? Yes, I have no other choice. Is this field meant for me? Am I meant for this field? Where is Nursing going to take me? In two years, I will be a licensed nurse.  But where will I be in three and four years? Cardiac Nurse? ED Charge Nurse? Africa? Moldova? Romania? 

I haven't the time to worry about these things.

Am I ready?

I have to be.

Yes.

Crack the nursing code: BM q4h.

"God never abandoned Moses, Jesus, Israel.  God never abandons you. To be like the Father is to be loyal, trustworthy, faithful, reliable. Love is the opposite of abandon.  Love is God. God is Love." ~Unknown