Currently, I am sitting on a couch with a couple dogs with no human beings in sight. Maybe it's 'cause today has been one of those days, where you are surrounded by people, but really feel completely alone; I mean, I don't necessarily feel alone in the moment, but at the end of the day, like now, when I sit down actually alone, I feel the alone-ness of the day just creep up on me and tackle me down onto the floor, alone.
And then, this feeling of alone-ness brings along the generalized anxiety that then makes me turn on Pandora, so I feel less alone.
Speaking of being alone, that is one of my greatest fears. We, as human beings, were created to be in communion with one another, not to be alone. I feel safest when I am surrounded with those with which I fall into communion, my family and my friends; and when you feel safe, you are able to do so much more than you are when you feel insecure.
But your fear of being alone should never be larger than your willingness to give into something that is "convenient." You should never settle, for, my dear, there is something wonderful out there for you; an adventure that is just waiting for you to come across it. And if you will be patient, everything will be worth the wait.
Recently, a few of us friends got together and had a night full of meaningful conversations. Just like the rest of us, one of my friends, Catherine, poured her heart out. She has been conflicted with something which weighed very heavily on her heart; she believes herself to be 'settling' for something--for someone--that seemed convenient at the time - a relationship where she feels as if she is not being treated as so she should.
To all my Catherines, please read these words:
My beautiful darling,
You are worth more than a 'convenient relationship' that makes you feel less alone and a little more loved. Oh, don't you know that, even though you may not be able to see it in all it's essence, that you are so loved. I can see you heart longing for something, for something more; I mean, after all, you aren't getting any younger, and the idea of marrying someone who completely deserves you has driven your dreams since you played "prince and princess" with your barbies.
You are strong and such a determined young woman. You have beautifully crafted life-goals, sometimes even leaving certain individuals intimidated of you. Continue crafting your goals; after all, if people don't laugh at them, your dreams aren't large enough. You are one step ahead of people, and sometimes even ten or twenty steps ahead. If your father is anything like mine, he has told you time and time again that you are worth more than settling for a boy who, on the outside, may seem like a man.
You are such a 'catch.'
Maybe you feel like you are chasing the 'boy of your dreams,' or maybe you are trying to figure out whether or not it is even worth it to 'chase.' You beautiful soul, don't you know that you deserve to be chased; your beauty, courage, boldness, loyalty, and every charming and honorable characteristic in between deserves to be pursued.
Are you exhausted of feeling anxious and stressed over a relationship that is not turning out the way you have hoped or one that has not even yet come to be? I bet you are an over-thinker, like myself; you get lost in the analysis of literally everything. Rationalization, the usually adaptive coping strategy of using logic, starts becoming maladaptive, because all it does is end is increase your anxiety. Do you feel lost? or scared? or terrified? You may feel like you are experiencing a crisis, but you don't want to say anything because getting stressed out over boys shouldn't be considered as a crisis; but then you over-think and dwell on what you do not know or what you cannot control and you become an emotional wreck.
Honey, don't be embarrassed by your over-thinking; you should never be ashamed of your desire to rationalize a situation which you deem important to do so. Stay confident in yourself even though right now it may be so hard to do so.
Please oh please remember that you are such a jewel.
Please oh please remember that you are such a jewel.
Please do not ever settle, you are worth so much more.
**Disclaimer: Names and identifying details have been altered to protect the privacy of individuals.