Nursing Diagnosis (non-NANDA approved): Restlessness (stir-crazy) related to 13 days of summer (short nursing school break) as evidence by multiple naps per day, excessive use of video games, and acute reading-books-for-fun syndrome.
In non-nursing language: I am not one to read books for fun, however, I made a goal during my supposedly 13-day break in between summer and fall semesters to read three books; Radical, The Shack, and Breaking Free. You may or may not be surprised to know that I failed miserably at achieving this goal.
Evaluation: nursing goals and implementations not met.
Nevertheless, I began reading Breaking Free by Beth Moore {as mentioned in my previous blog post} and have continued it as my fall semester began. This past week, I read a chapter which was so eye-opening that I have decided to dedicate a whole blog post to it.
I also have no really interesting nursing school facts or experiences to report other than I can cross two more days of nursing school off and continue truck forward reading my 75- and 110- chapter books. However, be sure to read my short nursing plog at the bottom of this post (if a vlog is a video blog then a plog must be a picture blog, right!?).
H e a r t s B r o k e n B y B e t r a y a l
Please read the following before you jump to conclusions or make assumptions based on knowing the previous seven weeks of my existence.
Psalm 55 caught me off guard; David is expressing his agony not over the war from an enemy, but the betrayal of a companion. My consciousness had never truly actualized that the bible speaks of hardships of such important people, hardships and complications many of which are still faced today. As I read these verses, I began to empathize with David:
My heart is in anguish within me
the terrors of death have fallen upon me
Fear and trembling come upon me
and horror overwhelms me
For it is not an enemy who taunts me- then I could bear it;
It is not an adversary who deals insolently with me- then I could hide from him
But it is you, a man, my equal, my companion, my familiar friend.
We used to take sweet counsel together,
within God's house we walked in the throng
My companion stretched out his hand against his friends;
he violated his covenant.
His speech was as smooth as butter,
yet war was in his heart;
his words softer than oil,
yet they were drawn swords.
Cast your burdens on the Lord,
and he will sustain you;
he will never permit the righteous to be moved.
{Psalm 55: 4-5, 12-14; 20-22}
Moore went on to explain why Christ is the perfect choice to turn to when betrayed:
1. H e i s s y m p a t h e t i c . Christ heals the brokenhearted, binds our wounds {Psalm 147:3} and proclaims freedom for the captives {Isaiah 61:1}. Humans can empathize for a short while but truly can do no more than sit with us and watch out hearts bleed; Christ can mend broken hearts, and set our anguish-stricken souls free.
2. H e k n o w s I a m w e a k . {Hebrews 4:15-16} Christ knows that I am weak, and because of this, I don't have to be afraid of coming into his presence expressing my every emotion, thought, and desire. For, His grace is sufficient for me; His power, His strength is make perfect in my weakness. Therefore, I delight in weakness, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties; for when i am weak, through Him, I am strong {2 Corinthians 12:9-10}.
3. H e h a s b e e n t e m p t e d i n e v e r y w a y I h a v e . But the times have changed! He lived such a short life; there is no way Jesus could have been tempted and torn in every way I have! I totally agreed, until I began reading passages with emotions. I used to look at bible verses and passages with such objectivity, as if the author and characters in the passages had no feelings, emotions, or personal opinions. But they do. Jesus was the son of God; he was tempted yet never sinned. Of course he is 100% God, so not sinning is no surprise, however, being 100% man, he had the ability and nature to do so. Jesus was tempted in every way: (1) Lust of Flesh, (2) Lust of Eyes, (3) Pride of Life {1 John 2:16}. As Moore put it, Christ doesn't "throw his hand over his mouth in shock" when i wish or am tempted to act a certain way. He understands because he has been where I am.
4. He m e t m y s a m e t e m p t a t i o n w i t h o u t s i n . Although he had the capacity to sin, he was victorious in resisting. He was not only perfect in actions, but also perfect in thought. Because He was victorious, I can be victorious.
So here is the main reason why I decided to share this specific study: Christ was betrayed and abandoned by his closes companions {Matthew 26}. This story never really hit me as Jesus gets thrown under the bus by one of his BFFs. The disciples and Jesus spent every waking moment with each other for the good part of three years. They were tight; they were BFFs. Jesus had saved them from life-threatening storms, shown them miracles, and even personally explained his teachings to his disciples - they were a family. Then, on top of being betrayed by Judas in a pre-meditated fashion, all the rest of His disciples leave His side out of fear. And it gets worse; in His last moments on earth, He cried out, in agony, to God the Father, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" {Matthew 27:46} Forsaken: it is an all-encompassing word of a bunch of things that you never want to happen to you; abandonment, disowned, isolated, deserted, forgotten, rejected. As if feeling alone isn't bad enough, Jesus was actually alone; the perfection part of Jesus, God the Father, turned away from the Son. Jesus was challenged physically, spiritually, and emotionally on His walk to my ultimate salvation. But what blows my mind even more, Jesus was victorious.
My God is stronger than betrayal, stronger than emotionally instability, stronger than the weight of the world, stronger than abandonment. He loved me enough to embrace the worldly hurts and He came out victorious - I have no reason to fear! If God is for me, then who can be against me? {Romans 8:31}
Jesus trusted the sovereignty of the Father. If He has allowed something difficult and shocking to happen to one of His children, He plans to use it mightily if the child will let Him. God did not cause Judas to be a thief and a betrayer, but He used the fraudulent disciple to complete a very important work in the life of Christ. Satan used Judas, but God ultimately took it over for His good work.
~Beth Moore
Indeed, Jesus knows what it is like to feel alone; abandoned, forgotten, deserted. It sucks, but through His word, we can rest in knowing that he will never forsake us. He holds up His end of the deal, even when we don't {when we sin, for example}. When we enter into a conventional relationship with Him, He will never leave our sides. His character is that of loyalty; he cherishes us and desires us every day because he is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
And because this is his character, I seek to be the same; full of forgiveness, faithfulness, trustworthiness, integrity, fidelity, devotion.
Here are just a few examples of this small portion of God's character:
And because this is his character, I seek to be the same; full of forgiveness, faithfulness, trustworthiness, integrity, fidelity, devotion.
Here are just a few examples of this small portion of God's character:
{Deuteronomy 4:29,31} But if from there you seek the Lord your God, you will find him if you seek him with all your heart and with all your soul. For the Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy you or forget the covenant with your ancestors, which he confirmed to them by oath.
{Deuteronomy 31:6,8} Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” It is the Lord who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.”
{Joshua 1:5,7-8} No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. “Be strong and very courageous. Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go. Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it. Then you will be prosperous and successful. Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
{Isaiah 41:17c} But I the Lord will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
{Hebrews 13:5-6,8} because God has said, “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.” So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?” Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
* * *
H e r e ' s t o t h e f i r s t w e e k o f F a l l 2 0 1 5 N u r s i n g S c h o o l .
May there be many more pages to read, many more early mornings, many more long days with my fellow nursing students and professors; 'cause although this nursing life is intense, it is the most fun I have ever had. Beginning the the next chapter of my life may have many challenging moments, but I could not be more thankful for this opportunity to thrive. My end goal is the most important goal I have made thus far in my life, and I am thankful to God that he has equipt me with everything I need to get it done. There are some moments where I would tell a Pre-Nursing Major to just get lost because Nursing School is going to suck; but when I sit back and reflect, I honestly love everything that I am doing {especially the nap from which I just got up}. But really, l i f e i s g o o d .
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.{Matthew 6:33}
{Matthew 5:13-16}