These are the days which are the most paradoxical as can be - I am excited to continue making progress in my future journeys, but at the same time, I am saddened by the ending of the Christmas season which fills me with such peace and serenity.
Due to pesky bed times enforced by two tired elementary-aged girls, my sister and I weren't 'allowed' to stay up and ring in the new year with my family until I was, maybe, in my late elementary years. In my middle school and early high school years, ringing in the new year was such an exciting time - I was surrounded by the presence of my parents, both sets of grandparents, and the occasional family guest, such as an Uncle or a family friend. The last few hours of the year were spent celebrating over a good meal, too many sweets, and a New Year's Eve Party Game hosted by myself with my co-host, my little sister, Al. I enjoyed these last moments of the old year, but was apprehensive of the new year and what it would bring along; many a time I became emotional, having got too attached to the old year, not wanting to let it go and diving into new.
However, as the years went on, my attitude towards the new changed; losing someone close to my heart, my grandfather, wasn't the trigger of this change per se, but it did open my eyes to the art of letting go of the old and allowing in with the new.
I used to be apprehensive about the new year to the point of tears, however, this year I welcomed in the new year with a raging scream, excited 2015 was over and a new start was beginning.
With this new beginning, there are at least sixteen things to do in 2016 (2016 bucket list):
1. Survive Nursing School pt. 3 (spring 2016) and pt. 4 (fall 2016). I began my journey over this past summer - summer 2015 (pt. 1) and was blessed in the successful survival of this past fall semester of nursing school (pt. 2). Up next: getting through spring and fall 2016 with minimal tears and loss of hairs.
#nursingbound
2. Watch my favorite person graduate and grow up. Yeah, in comparison to everyone else in the world, she is probably the person who gets on my nerves the most - but that is because I spend the most time with her because she is one of the most dear things to my heart. Meet Al, my sister who is actually my best friend. We always assume every sister is as close as we are, but apparently we are so wrong. Many time I wish she was my twin, so I didn't have to do college and nursing school and everything else by myself. Well, my little sister will be graduating this year and I couldn't be prouder of her. Her heart is nothing like the grinch - if anything, it is 3x too big, and I am not talking about a cardiomegaly; she inspires me to be a better person, to love more , to smile more, to be bold in the face of adversaries and negativity. I have had to learn to let my little baby sister grow up - this may be harder for my than even my parents because I am really protective over her; but looking into the future and what is in store for us individually and as a team brings excitement to the surface of my soul. This is a big year for her, making it a big year for me.
#nora
3. Make time to write more. It shouldn't be a surprise that one of my greatest passions is to write; the core of my soul is not an exercise-fanatic, chocolate-lover, or even healthy-food-freak, but more so an author. Writing, for me, is a fiery passion in which the fire is quenched by long night dedication of hours into a novel or a few short hours of dedication each week into my blog. A life goal of mine is to publish a book, and I was well on my way to do so until college and then nursing school stole my pastimes away from me.
#author-ing
4. Make time to read {the Bible} more. Slacking has been my middle name, and it really isn't much slacking as it is getting busy and then composing sly excuses to why I have no time to do the most important things. So, may this year be full of keeping resolutions to get closer with Christ; may this year be full of conversations with the Lord about nursing school, about boys, about the arguments with my sister, about the movies I saw, about bigger decisions which stress me out, about the motivation I need to eat more healthy and workout more efficiently, about my sins, about what I am thankful for, and about how to continue to become a better person rooted in the word and the works of the Lord.
#keepcalmandJesuson
5. Participate in another pistol match. My father has such a passion for not only hunting but for shooting; when I joined him this past year in a one-gun-pistol match, I instantly fell in love with the adrenaline you get and perfectionism it takes to be an accurate shooter under the pressure of being timed. In addition, this year I will be able to partake in earning my concealed carry license.
#secondamendmentadvocate
6. Spend more time with family. This past week I was again reminded the fragility of life. The more and more I learn about the human body and its intricate workings, I am filled with awe in reference to our Creator. The body is strong, but also fragile; the body can recover from some crazy things, but even one wrong decision can end its functionality forever. This past week I was reminded how important it is to spend time with loved ones while that opportunity still exists. Quality family time is more precious than anything material.
#happydaysfamilydays
7. Savor the excitement and slight chaos of being a bridesmaid. A few months ago I was blessed with the honor of becoming a bridesmaid to one of my favorite women of God. My relationship with this special young lady began back in 1995 where we exchanged the titles of 'cousin.' Over the next few years, we added a title of 'pen pal.' All our lives we have lived in two separate cities, however, we refused to let this cause us to grow apart. We have each had our moments, but the days we spend together are full of love and laughter. I am excited to see where this year and the ones to come lead my beautiful God-loving cousin. I am thankful for your friendship and am excited to celebrate you in the days, weeks, and months to come. Thank you for loving me as much as you do and giving me the opportunity to be blessed in being one of your bridesmaids.
#mackandmitchgethitched
8. Run in color. For a good year and few months, I believed that the world was in black and white, and 'we' were in screaming color, but that wasn't the case. A few months ago, I thought my life was being stripped of all its color, but God was actually giving me back the color I had lost for so many months. I had been settling for black and white when God wanted vibrant colors to dance through my soul; I was blessed through tribulation. It was hard, emotionally, to swallow that my life had been robbed of its color for such a time and I had been blind to it; but I am oh so thankful for the vibrancy of the colors with which God has blessed me and I will dedicate this year to running in God's color and not in the lies of the world.
#boyzaregross
9. Become a temporary and loose-termed fan girl. Concerts have never struck my fancy until I was blessed with the opportunity to attend a Hillsong United and later, a Hillsong Worship concert; I instantly fell in love with the full-surrender worship experienced during both concerts. I hope to be able to share this experience with my sister this year on multiple occasions, not just with the Hillsong bands. In addition, my sister and I decided to splurge on floor seated concert tickets for two very talented artists.
#concertfrenzy2016
10. Be more adventurous - ditch the normal routine every now and then for sanity sake and stress relieving. I have this comfort zone that I don't like to leave and I have this comfort blanket that I don't like taking off. I live my life by my planner and the motto of spending as little money as possible. I don't do 'risky' and out of the ordinary things like climb a waterfall with my sister and get scared cause we hear a bear or travel to PA to see my best friend (2013) very often. When all I do on a Saturday is wake up late, shop to spend money, take a nap, and eat tortilla chips and Reese's, my stop-being-lazy OCD activated the guilt centers of my brain. This year I will try to take more days to relax and 'veg out.' This year I will travel out of NC and do things I haven't done and see things I haven't seen before. This year I will dance more and sing more and hike and bike more.
#explore #embark #wildernessexplorer
11. Exercise and choose healthy-ness. When I consume something 'unhealthy,' like when I add some chocolate to my coffee at work, I get picked on because I am so obsessed with being extremely healthy, or at least that is what people think. Contrary to what you may think, I eat too much chocolate and some days I rather take a long nap instead of go to the gym. Contrary to what you may think, my 'will power' was once stronger than it is now. Everyday I have to choose to eat properly, I have to choose to go to the gym, and sometimes I have to choose to force myself to go to the gym. Trying new health food is something that excites me, however, I will choose skim milk over coconut almond milk any day.
#chooselife
12. Re-Read the Divergent and the Hunger Games books. Yeah, I know the last Hunger Games movie came out in November or something, but I haven't gotten around to watching it yet. I am obsessed with the Divergent series, like #numberonefan material, although I do believe she should have stopped her idea behind everything at book number one, because the explanation behind everything is totally lame and the last book's ending makes me want to hit someone. First thing's first - I need to buy the Divergent trilogy.
#fourtris
13. Stop looking for someone to complete me and start looking for someone to inspire me. Ever listen to a song that makes you want to get up and dance even though you are in a gym full of people who will think you are insane because (1) you aren't even that good at dancing, and (2) they can't hear your music? My favorite songs can change my mood in an instant, creating an itching desire to get up on my feet and dance whether I am in the gym, the cafeteria, the grocery store, or my car. That is the type of people I need in my life; the type of person, who, when I am around motivates me to do the crazy things, the things that no one would do in their right mind {like nursing school}. Whether it be in good friends or in a significant other, I need someone to motivate me, to inspire me to get up and dance while singing at the top of my lungs. I am already completed; I am happy with myself and who I am working to become and I am completed in the love of the Lord. Now, I just need inspiration to love, inspiration to laugh, inspiration to inspire.
#daretoinspire
14. Make more videos. I can't help my creative juices from flowing. I have always liked making videos - even in elementary school, I would grab my mothers Kodak digital camera and take videos of me and my sister dancing, promoting her easy-bake oven, and showing the 'audience' around our house. As the years past, we have upgraded our content and have made music videos and even a short 15-minute hunting movie dedicated to our father for the Christmas/New Year holiday. This year, I plan to come out with another surprise.
#homemadevideos
15. Take more pictures. Senior pictures are a thing; doll yourself up and take expensive pictures of your senior looking fantabulous in makeup and clothes they never wear. I have been meaning to take my sister out and do her senior pictures - we have so much fun and she is such a good little model. I'm sorry though, she is explicitly my model and no one else's.
#homemadephotographer
16. Shoot more deer. This past hunting season was totally lame - I was unable to bag anything but maybe a few extra pounds. But really - this next year will continue to be crazy with school, but I hope I will be able to bag a few deer - maybe even one good enough to add to my mounted collection of deer apparatus.
#eatmorevenison
Sixteen things to give up and let go in 2016:
(1) Resist the detours - setting myself aside because I am my biggest detour; (2) anger; (3) bad attitudes towards people and personal situations; (4) excuses; (5) social media obsession - put away the phone, put away the facebook; (6) carbohydrates - some of my favorite 'unhealthy' foods wouldn't be considered unhealthy in a 'normal' persons' diet, like cereal and wheat thin crackers, however, these are the pesky foods which become addicting to my taste buds and encourage my body to 'pack on the pounds'; (7) sugar; (8) being stingy with time, money, and affection; (9) complaining; (10) reflecting and meditating on bad memories; (11) comfort eating; (12) ignoring advice and thinking I know best; (13) allowing others' negative comments bottom out my soul; (14) believing I cannot do something because of my age; (15) thinking and speaking negativity; (16) trying to live up to expectations on my own - "Stop trying so hard to make it and just enjoy HIM."
