The pastor said that when you choose to take part in a Christian lifestyle, you adopt a change of mind, a change of direction, and a change of behavior.
I am not okay with this way of life; I want my mindset to change, as well as my behavior. As easy as that sounds, it is actually very hard.
There have been so many people in life who have told me that if I truly want something, if I truly desire a change, then I will do everything in my power to do so. For example, if I truly believe that non-sinners are going to Hell, a terrible place which they cannot ever escape, then I must do everything in my power to help 'save' those who are lost.
But when there are so many things on my plate -- like 1000 pages from a pediatrics nursing book, three clinical projects, four exams, one paper, an ATI test, and not to mention an honors thesis I have decided to dive into for the remainder of this year, in addition to my fall courses, not to mention self-driven physical therapy with set goals that I must meet -- just admit it, life can get a little overwhelming and all the important things which don't seem so important when put in the light of a busy nursing-student life are pushed to the side, are, most of the time, forgotten.
This is my weakness; I am a human.
I got a wake up call this week when I sat down to take my first pediatrics course test of the four week semester: You cannot do this on your own. And, in fact, I have been trying to do just that -- ride on the prayers of {literally} hundreds of people while lacking an intimate relationship with Him Himself. As I stepped into this new challenge of playing 'catch up,' I forgot Who has carried me through; I stopped relying on Him and let myself take over. I should have known, because every time I try to take the reigns from Him, I fail, not because He fails me, but because I fail myself.
Knock knock. It's me, God, and I want you to succeed, but you have to give over your longing to be in control and let me handle things.
Some people may think that 'giving the control over to God' means you are passing through life passively; I mean, I used to think that. But it isn't true; giving control to God, especially when you are a control freak like me, is really hard. It takes strength that you didn't think you had all the while teaching you humility. Exhaling your worries and your anxieties and taking the next step without knowing what is going to happen next is scary. But if God has brought me this far, why should I question him now. He has always provided, so why should I start to doubt.
I have to keep on walking, even when the light seems to fade in front of me and I am not sure of what will show up next in my path; I have to trust.
I can't change my mind, change my direction and change my behavior on my own; I have to rely on His power and His strength to become more of the person He desires I be. I cannot change without Him. I cannot do anything without Him.
Because in my weakness, He is strong; He makes me strong.
The Lord is my Strength.
"If I have called you to a situation, I will give you everything you need to endure it -- and even to find Joy in the midst of it." ~God
The secret of living amid life's difficulties is simple: trusting God in such a way that one can say, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. This does not mean God will bless whatever a person does, it must be read within the context of the letter, with its emphasis on obedience to God and service to God and others {Philippians 4:12-13}.
He has brought me this far, so why would I question him now. He has provided so why would I start to doubt. He has never stranded me, abandoned me, or left me on my own.
* * * * * *
Just has to escape for a little bit this week.
* * * * * *
Accept the way things are without losing hope for a better future.
* * * * * *
The secret of living amid life's difficulties is simple: trusting God in such a way that one can say, I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. This does not mean God will bless whatever a person does, it must be read within the context of the letter, with its emphasis on obedience to God and service to God and others {Philippians 4:12-13}.
He has brought me this far, so why would I question him now. He has provided so why would I start to doubt. He has never stranded me, abandoned me, or left me on my own.
* * * * * *
Just has to escape for a little bit this week.
Accept the way things are without losing hope for a better future.
* * * * * *