Summer is for soaking up the sun, spending time eating & chatting with your grandparents, and diving head first into . . . school?
This week was a perfect mix of relaxation, boredom, research, walking, strength training {beginner's edition for a rehabilitating ankle}, and getting ready for summer school.
Summer school is ew, right?
I have been blabbing on and off for a while to pretty much everyone about this summer course I am taking during July and the beginning of August; it's not a complaining type of blab, but a fervently delighted type of blab that turns into a conversation about the past few months and most all of its circumstances have been regulated and maintained by God; a conversation about how my soul is at peace with my future because God has made himself so overwhelming evident in my circumstances.
Twelve weeks ago, I would have told you that my life sucks and I would rather not live it; my life circumstances were overcoming my spirit and seemed to suck me down into the depths of negativity, pain and distress. But God has been my light amidst the darkness; He had delivered me from my circumstances and has given me a new excitement for each day, a new joyous tune to which I sing continuously. He met me in the middle of my sorrow and delivered me from my worries; He had blessed me with his strength and gifted me with overwhelming peace. It is truly His strength which has allowed me to carry on. There are so many people who tell me that my strength in my situation is admirable and inspiring; but this isn't me, I cannot do this on my own. Some days are easier than others, and the days which try to sink my soul once again are the days I must cry out to the Lord and ask for his strength to help me continue, through the tears and through the pain; to not stop, although there will be tears and there will be pain; to not let the days just pass, but live, despite my tears and my pain.
He continues to change me each day into someone who will be better able to serve him, more equipped with the wisdom I need for my future circumstances and situations. For this, I couldn't be more thankful.
And in the end, I realize I was never meant to fight on my own.
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the Grand 'ole days
Trips to grandparents' house are the best, and spending the night with them are even better. Coffee, healthy brownies, nice long talks, annoying sister on the way home by screaming the words to all the songs, #throwback movies, more coffee, chocolate, and more annoying my sister.
Life would not be full without my grandparents; without their words of wisdom, their jokes and laughs, their prayers, their comforting voices, their loving hearts and warming smiles. Life would be incomplete and I would not be the person I am without them; their caring support and diffusing ability to engage others in prayer has aided my recovery thus far and has encouraged me to look to God in my time of complete and overwhelming need.
They love me more than I love myself sometimes; every person needs people in their lives like that and I hope to be like them in that way.
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I've been running through rain that I thought would never end, trying to make it on faith in a struggle against the wind. I've seen the dark and the broken places, but I know in my soul no matter how bad it gets, I'll be alright.
There's hope in front of me; there's a light I still see it; there's a hand still holding me, even when I don't believe it.
There's better days still up aheadEven after all I've seen, there's hope in front of me
There's a hope still burning, I can feel it rising through the night; and my world's still turning I can feel Your love here by my side.
~ Danny Gokey