This week has been full of firsts, full of blessings, and has filled my heart full of joy, thankfulness and gratitude.
What goes up must come down? Well, in my case, what goes down must come back up; despite the steep downward hill I felt I was being pushed down during the beginning months of this year, I am finally starting to feel relief, able to actually take a step back and put in to perspective all that God has been able to do during the steep emotional and physical cliffs I was just trying to survive through. Trying not to drown in the despairs of life, I now look back and am thankful that I can say I am more excited than I was before to live each and every day.
My smile means more than it did before; I am truly happy - truly thankful - truly joyful to the Lord who has taught me, through unfortunate circumstances, what it means to live.
Monday begun our family's #SMLcountdown as we took out our ship-boat to the deep sea-lake. Ole Bertha {aka Elizabeth II} is reaching up in her years, but she can still crack the waves and put me to sleep just like she did back in our early years.
Wednesday started with a PT appointment which focused on regaining balance; with my right foot standing on a inch thick mat while throwing this four pound ball towards a trampoline and then having to catch the ball is not easy, but after a while I was able to get the hang of it. . . not a professional or anything yet like I would be on my left leg.
Well, something came over me and I decided to go to the gym. After four months of no right foot, no car, and no reason or motivation to go to the gym, I was able to walk my right foot to my car and motivated-ly go to the gym. I hadn't done spin [stationary biking] since my accident; after approximately 116 days of no spin, something I was probably like literally addicted to, I got back on the bike and went for about 60 minutes. Being able to get back on that bike and spin was so rejuvenating; like listening to your favorite song on repeat while sitting outside as a cool breeze runs through your hair. It felt so refreshing to get back to something that I hadn't realized that I had missed.
Another stepping stone which I leaped over was when I took the shower chair out from the shower and was able to take my first normal shower since February 14th.
Friday came with beautiful news - the kind of news you need after weeks that turned into months of being a burden to your family emotionally, physically, financially and everywhere in between. Its a feeling, that on top of a bunch of other things, it truly feel like God is sitting right next to me telling me that everything will be okay, that despite the hell I feel I have been through; despite the constant struggles of the past few months, there is still hope; things will get better; there is a reason for suffering and challenges; when this is all over, if you let it, you will be a better person, a stronger person, a person more ready to take on the next challenge.
Friday, a big financial burden was lifted from me and my family. I have never been so grateful in my life; even though it has taken me some while to realize it, God has truly blessed me over the past few months.
To those who state I am ungrateful, please check yourself before you wreck yourself; negativity doesn't look good on you and it is not beneficial towards my soul; take your sass and ruin someone else's day, please.
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In the Fitness Corner with Buizzy-Elizzy
All squats are not created equal, and pistol squats just look cooler, and they are hard. The first time I saw a girl do them, I was in my college campus's gym; once she left, I tried doing a one-legged squat. . . I mean, she made it look easy, but it totally was not. So I took it upon myself to learn the art of the pistol squat; it took some time, so beware when people make it look easy, it really isn't.
When I started Physical Therapy for the rehabilitation of my no-longer-broken foot, the Physical Therapist was asking me all kinds of questions trying to gauge where my athletic ability existed before my accident. Somehow, I quickly became known as the 'pistol squat girl' among the PTAs.
This week my PTAs focused on balance exercises and a squats emphasizing the usage of my right leg muscles. Because pistol squats are balance and strength, it will be a couple more weeks until my lower right extremity is ready for full-on pistol-squat training.
If you can't do pistol squats but want to build up the balance and the strength to do so, grab a Bosu ball or something similar & stick it under the opposite extremity on which you are trying to focus. This creates more resistance on the leg which maintains full contact with the ground. Try to focus stabilizing your weight on the leg which has that full contact to the ground; this enhances your balance and your strength. Also, focus on balance and strength separately; completing a wide variety of exercises covers multiple muscle families and will build strength all the more.
Building my right leg's muscle back is one of the main goals of rehab. Back before my accident, I was addicted to the gym and my calve muscles were my prized possession. Now, my lower extremities are lopsided, not matching and my limp is every-now-and-then noticeable. But the rehab process is so interesting; being able to walk through it myself is 50% frustrating, 30% annoying and 20% distressing, but every new step, every success is 100% motivating to keep on going, to keep pushing against adversity and the uncomfortable feeling at the sole of your foot that constantly tells you that you can't.
But you can do it.
I am so thankful for Physical Therapy because without it, I wouldn't be comfortable with pushing myself beyond with what I am comfortable. Yes, there is going to be that uncomfortable pulling feeling on the sides of your foot when you point your toe, and that nagging pain at the sole of your foot when you try to push off with each step; but don't you dare think for a moment that you can't do it. When you feel uncomfortable, that is when you are making progress; when you push yourself just a tad farther that with what you are comfortable, that is when you are just that tad much closer to getting back to your your normal dosage of pistol squats.
Oh, and don't forget to stretch; stretching is what most of my 'workouts' contain now-a-days; from stretching my dorsal-flexion and plantar-flexion to massaging out the knots in my muscles and the scar tissue which runs from my calf to my toes . . . there is so many exercises and stretches to do to improve ROM and overall function for broken-ankle rehab. I mean, you would think that you can only do so much, but you never really understand how much your ankle does until you have to rehab it back to its normal function.
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"You don't need anything if you have Jesus; sometimes it can take a while to realize that."
When our pastor stated that in church this past week, I felt as if God was talking to my soul. The rest of his sermon was literally a synopsis of my emotional roller coaster of life these past few weeks.
It is so beautiful to be able to reach a point in your life where you are incandescently joyful; if you have Jesus, you truly do not need anything else. Coming out of a dark part of my life, I am able to see how joyful life can really be, how beautiful it really is.
Life is just a little sweeter than it was before.
“You'll find another.'
God! Banish the thought. Why don't you tell me that 'if the girl had been worth having she'd have waited for you'? No, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody.”
― F. Scott Fitzgerald