The Dramatic Confessions of a Broken Ankle Nursing Student

This summer has been a wild ride. . . 
. . . but this wild ride is not over yet!

As you may or may not know, I got in a bad car accident in February and broke my ankle; as one of the Physician's Assistants who took care of me said, for it being my first broken bone{s}, I did a pretty good job.  It was the middle of February, two weeks shy of being halfway done with the semester, and being in nursing school, of all things, this put a pretty big bump in the road {more like a mountain}. 

See, my spring semester was split into two halves; one 8-week clinical course following the other.  Over halfway done with the first course, my professors were happy to help me out with finishing the rest of my clinical hours at a later time and giving me an incomplete for the class; however, my second 8-week course would never be started, due to my inability to walk without some type of aid.  

What did this mean for one-legged me? 

Graduating a year late; worse, having to wait an extra year to become a nurse.  This is because the nursing school I attend only offers clinical courses once a year, so missing this second week spring course meant I had to wait until next spring to take it -- and ever clinical course is a prerequisite to the next, so my major courses would be put on hold for a year.  Tears left my face almost as quickly as I lost all hope. My parents and I sat in offices trying to 'think outside the box' in order to allow me to graduate on time to no avail.  Essentially nothing could be done, I wasn't allowed to take the lecture and then take the clinical over the summer; it felt as if any idea would be shot down as a broken ankle hindered my ability to become a nurse and stole away my time, money, motivation, and perseverance.  

I went from one apparatus to another, wearing every possible appliance known to orthopedic surgeons: from internal fixations of four pins and a screw elegantly placed in a black aircast walking boot to a wedged purple fiberglass cast to a beautiful holiday themed external fixator comprised of a pin affixed through my navicular and cuboid bones with two screws attached to my tibia.  You know last fall semester in my medical-surgical course, we had a lecture which covered broken bones and all the treatments and nursing care which go along with those issues; that day I was thankful to have never broken a bone and vowed I would never break a bone. Look where that got me.

But seriously, look at where it has gotten me.  

I have learned so much through these unpleasant few months. I have learned, where ever I decide to go in my nursing career, that I want to be able to attend to my patient's emotional needs, not just their physical needs; patient advocacy has truly been stimulated through my personal experiences as a patient.  
I have learned to never accept 'no' as an answer, and to never live without hope.  If you have the willingness to complete something, to take something on, and if you see your goal and envision it; if there is a will, there is a way.  It may be an unpleasant and discouraging experience trying to find 'the way' to your end goal, but if you show God that you have determination and perseverance and a willingness to take on challenges which may be extremely distressful and distasteful, he may just grant you an overwhelming peace and give you the opportunity of a lifetime. 

I have learned there are so many people out there in the world waiting to meet you, and if certain circumstances never come to be, there is a whole bunch of people you may never meet, may never impact, may never be impacted by, may never be able to reach out to.  There are so many lessons to learn through other human beings; like the lesson of patient advocacy and friendship I received through my favorite night nurse.

I have learned that every life experience comes with a vast array of information to be learned, personal characteristics to be earned, and virtues to be created.  Patience is one of the Fruits of the Spirit which I was never really to carry out effectively; gratitude was something I never fully felt in my heart; faithfulness was something with which I had been struggling; gentleness is something I never seemed to have; struggles and trials were never really something I had been gifted to experience; I never really understood what it felt like to be presented with angst and anguish and a regret that you couldn't have seen coming until it hit you in the foot, going 60 mph.

Well, one afternoon while sitting in the class in which I was technically no longer enrolled, one of my friends entered a conversation with me and mentioned an idea which had never crossed my mind; and idea which could possibly be my saving grace in this sea of misfortune.

Have you thought about taking the course at another school over the summer and transferring back?

It hit me like a nice cool breeze, the overwhelming peace which can only be given by one Being.  At that moment, I felt as if everything was under control, I had no idea what would happen, but I was no longer anxious about what was to come. 

So I started my search for a school who not only offered summer nursing courses, but the specific course I needed.  That is when everything began falling into place. 

Seriously, everything began falling into place; when I finally swallowed my worst nightmare, my nightmare began dissipating right in front of my eyes.  When I decided to let let go of what I could not control is when God blessed me with such a wonderful opportunity.
And you know what?
Well, it's kind of crazy actually -- there are a few words that I never thought I would willingly say. 
I am thankful for these challenges. Without the pain; without the mental breakdowns; without the overwhelming multitude of tears; without the frustration of immobility; without the feeling of powerlessness brought on by academic hardships; without the burden of finances; without these challenges I would not have learned how to enjoy life to the fullest; how to always be overly excited for even the smallest aspects of life; how to overcome obstacles even when all odds are against you; how to accept what has become of your life, but to never stop working for something more; how to always have hope, even in the most hopeless moments of life.  With these challenges, I have become more of the person I want to be.  Challenges and hardship will change you; you can either let them tear you down, or you can use them to your benefit, gaining widsom, excitement, happiness, joyfulness.
No matter the extent of your adversaries, never accept 'no' as an answer, and never live without hope. God will pull you through, and he will never fail you, even when your feet have failed your own self.

"I survived because the fire inside of me burned brighter than the fire around me."

*          *          *

He was the fire of determination inside of me that has gotten me to where I am now. He has enabled me to learn a more thorough trust, a fuller love, and gain a more complete insight on running the race for His Kingdom. Endurance through life's challenges is not an easy task; sometimes, when in the midst of life's oppositions, endurance is hard to pursue -- there were many times I felt as if the people around me were emotionally picking me up by the arms and dragging me around, I couldn't do it by myself. And to be honest, I was a complete wreck for the majority of the first half of this 2016 year.

{1 Corinthians 9:24-27} Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.

These past few months have certainly been an Adventure of a Lifetime.

It is amazing how fast time passes you by. It feels as if just yesterday I was struggling with a broken ankle and trying to put back together all the shattered pieces of life.  It's ironic how just one accident, how one moment in life, can change the sequence of life's events entirely. My dreams were pushed from the grasp of my fingertips and there was not much I could do to change it, other than hold on to the hope which was being pulled out from under me.

However, everything has come full circle -- there are so many people who have helped me through some of the darkest moments of my life, but the true holder of all my hope is none other than my Father Himself. He was the fire of determination inside of me that has gotten me to where I am now. 

And so, I shall dedicate the last year of my school, and the rest of my life, to Him.
Here I stand, still overcoming obstacles put in my way by a broken ankle; but I can stand, I can walk!
But maybe they aren't obstacles, maybe they are just a means to becoming more of the person God wants you to be.